Know Your feelings

Nobody expects to feel good when they're ill. But they do expect doctors and hospitals to help them feel better.  Regrettably, things can get in the way.

From time to time, the emotional side of illness is tougher to deal with than the physical symptoms.  Everyone has fears and worries, and everyone has diverse ways of dealing with them.

Your own attitudes and expectations play a huge part in how you feel. How you deal with and how well you deal with will depend a lot on how ill you are, how long it lasts, and what resources you have available to help you.

In front of sudden illness

A sudden, severe sickness or injury that sends you in the hospital almost always creates a sense of crisis.

Your initial thought will probably be " What's going to happen to me ? " For the most part, people want an honest answer to this question. Having a physician or nurse you can trust and talk to frankly will help you face what's coming.

You may also worry about your family. How will they react ?  Who will take care of your children while you're ill ?  Or you may worry about paying medical bills, or losing salary if you can't work.

Physicians and nurses may not be able to help with all of these matters.  But other people can:

	Hospital social workers may be able to provide help with family matters or financial worries. They may also be able to help you find someone to talk to about your personal worries.
	You may also want to talk to a hospital chaplain or to your own minister, priest or rabbi.

Getting used to the hospital

The general picture of hospital life can be disturbing when you are not used to it. From time to time, people get confused and lose their sense of time. At other times, it may be tough to tell night from day. Feelings like these usually dissipate very quickly, as soon as you get back to a normal routine.

Dealing with pain

Most people think that pain is an inevitable part of illness. But pain is not something you have to tolerate. It can be controlled.

The first step toward controlling it is to tell someone that you have it. Doctors and nurses have no way to "assess" how much pain you're in. You are the only one who can tell them.

Many people wait until pain becomes intolerable before they tell anyone about it.

But if you speak up early, before it gets severe, you'll be able to control it with lower doses of medication and fewer side effects.

Many hospitals have equipment that let patients administer their own pain medication simply by pushing a button. The machine "knows" how much medication to give and how often it can be given. This system, known as patient-controlled analgesia, is above all a good way to control pain after surgery.

If you have rigorous or distressing pain because of a chronic illness, you may want to ask your doctor to refer you to a pain specialist. Generally, doctors trained as anesthesiologists or pharmacologists practice this specialty. Some hospitals also operate special "pain clinics."

Doing as much as you can by yourself

Even if you're not in pain when you are ill, you may need help with plain, everyday things, like washing yourself or going to the bathroom.

When you're in the hospital, it's generally easy to get the help you need. And it may be easier to take help when it's offered than to try to do things on your own. But the more help you get, the longer it may take you to get better.

Ask your doctors and nurses what you should and shouldn't try to do. And try to do as much as you can on your own, even when you're in the hospital.

Dealing with long-term illness

When you're facing a long healing process, a long-term illness or disability, it's common to have many very different feelings as you come to terms with your situation.

At first, you may not want to take it very seriously. You may not believe what your doctors have told you. Or you may try to go on with life as usual, as if nothing were wrong.

It may take awhile to get a real sense about what lies ahead. And it's not unusual to feel like you're on an "emotional roller coaster," at times:

	you may be frightened, even jumpy, at times;
	you may be annoyed that this is happening to you;
	you may blame yourself for being the cause of it, somehow;
	you may feel depressed and wonder if you'll ever be able to live a "normal" life again.

All of these feelings are a normal part of the process of learning to deal with your illness. You can and will be able to work through them, and begin to take charge of your life again.

If you have a severe sickness or injury, you may need to learn to do everyday things in a whole new way. Take the time to find a team of doctors and nurses that you can talk to openly about your worries and that is willing to work with you in the long term. Physical therapists, occupational therapists and rehabilitation professionals can also be helpful.

You may also want to find other people you can talk to who face similar situations. There are many support groups and your social worker or member of your care team can help you identify and contact them. "Self-help" groups organized by other patients with similar illnesses may help you learn to manage on your own. Or, if you have access to a computer, you may find it easier to "talk" to people on the Internet.

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	Adultery		Dissatisfaction
	Anorexia Nervosa		Divorce / Separation
	Anxiety		Gambling Addiction
	Being worried		Loneliness
	Bulimia Nervosa		Phobias
	Chronic Pain		Rejection
	Conflict		Stress
	Death and Loss		Suicidal Thoughts
	Depression		Violence
	Despair
Warning: if you have moderate depression or suicidal tendencies please seek the advice of a doctor/ therapist or dial 9-1-1.